Life as a perfectionist
It sucks. Sincerely. I am a top level perfectionist. And a coward. I will never ever ever do something I have no knowledge about. Every fresh new job interview is a nightmare to me. First five driving lessons ended in me almost passing out. Every single new thing scares me to death. Because I might screw up. So I’d rather not even try. Because I am THAT scared of being wrong. Someone new I like? Not gonna kiss him first. Are you freaking kidding me? A speech to say in front of audience? You will have to kill me first. One step at a time I learn, I try and then gain confidence and then finally do that scary thing. It took me about a year (of everyday driving) to stop fearing to drive. A year! Can you imagine how much time I wasted being afraid? But I can’t help myself. Please bear with me. Don’t give up on me just yet. Don’t get angry if I don’t manage to do something. I’ve already heard too much of “you’re a failure” versions. I am afraid it actually might be true. Just missed another opportunity. The efffff… fear. Now gotta go to punch something.
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